Jimmy Eat World

"Over" - Soundtrack to my night

Every Wednesday Mr. Koehler asks me, "So what's on your heart, Brook?" Every Wednesday I convey to him my frustration, desperation, or appreciation with God and life. Today I didn't talk to Mr. Koehler, so I am going to talk to you all instead. I feel empty lately. It's weird, because I shouldn't, and I know that. I know I am empty too. I am empty because I am not putting enough effort into this whole "seeking God" thing. You know I read about these awesome people in the Bible, and it breaks my heart. They obeyed and sought God through everything. David obeyed God's Word when he really didn't have to, Daniel obeyed and sought Him though he faced death, Moses chased after Him though he had all he needed from life, Paul obeyed His call through beatings, imprisionment, and eventually death. It's painful for me to read about these awesome men of God who obeyed Him through every single situation. It makes me feel guilty. It makes me feel like crap. It makes me want to quit because I know that I will NEVER be able to be as great as that. The only thing is this: Even if I could never be as great, I'll never know if I never try to move on. I know I want to move on. I know I want to seek God, and I know I want to find Him. That's all for now, I'm falling asleep at my keyboard.