The reason a relationship with God is so hard is this: as you grow with Him you become more and more aware of your sins. Sin awareness, while a good thing, is a painful thing. No one wants to know that they're blemished in the sight out God. God is the very essence of perfection. In Him there are no flaws. So how are we, imperfect humans, to stand before Him? The good news is His grace is sufficient for us. He will carry is through. Sometimes, however, we'll have to face hardships, suffering, and pain. A little heat brings out the worst in us, and then we can work on getting rid of it. What's crazy is that sometimes, it seems like too much. Just remember don't point the finger at God when your being tested, Satan is the supreme ruler of all things evil. He is the one that causes pain and suffering, God just turns it into a learning experience. Another crazy concept is that of punishment. If you've been forgiven of your sins, God's not going to punish you, however, there may be natural consequences. If you murder someone, ask God for forgiveness, and repent, you are, indeed, forgiven. However, you'll probably still go to prison. Sometimes, God might test your honesty and integrity by allowing you to be enticed by some secretive. Just because you don't get caught by the rents, teachers, or officers, does not mean that God doesn't see and know what you do. God sees ALL. God knows ALL.
Random babblings I know. Sometimes all people need to hear these thoughts though. Sin is a dangerous battlefield. Remember: God is there when you go crawling back. Be willing to return to Him.
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